HUMOROUS HOW-TO’S: A Super-Bowl Party To Remember


English: Air Force Super Bowl Sunday Celebration
English: Air Force Super Bowl Sunday Celebration (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Super-Bowl parties — good ones — take some planning. Follow Dameyon’s advice for a party your buds won’t soon forget.

The Super Bowl is one of the most anticipated events of the year.  It is a time in which two outstanding league champions play each other on the first Sunday in February.  The National Football League champion plays against the American Football League champion.  Millions are glued to the television in anticipation of whose going to win the Vince Lombardi Trophy.  Since so many people are watching this game on the television, companies seek to engage their potential customers to buy their products with very comical commercials.  These commercials are just as entertaining as the Super Bowl itself.  Seeing that the Super Bowl is considered to be in its own rights a national holiday, a man must know how to throw a grand Super Bowl Party

            The first thing a man should do is have his woman, wife, or women do his pre-cleaning.  Nine times out of ten a man is going to have his grand party in his home, and he’s going to need to have it sparkling cleaned.  He should have his woman thoroughly clean the bathrooms, kitchen, and party area.  He should have her make sure the house is even clean of children.  Having children at a grown man’s Super Bowl party can be devastating, so a man should make sure all children are removed.  It’s nothing worse than spelling a funky diaper or having a nagging child around at a party.  Now that the house is sparkling and all children are removed, pre-cleaning is complete.

            The next thing a man should do is make sure there is plenty of food and drinks.  There is absolutely no party without some good, spicy hot wings. They should be the kind that is spicy going in and out the body!  This should be the number one food item on the list.  A man must also have some Rotel with cheesy Doritos to dip it in.  To set it all off, a man should have his woman grill some ribs on the grill. When she finishes grilling them, make sure she drenches them in the finest barbecue sauce.  The man must not forget to order specified pizza of his liking.  Men don’t really care about dessert so make sure there are plenty of other meats.  A man can have many different kinds of drinks such as water, soft drinks, lemonade, tea, fruit punch, beer, and wine.  Remember the party can’t be grand without plenty of food and drinks.  Plan not to run out before half-time!

            The last thing a man should do in planning his grand Super Bowl party is make sure the television is big enough, the cable is working properly, and his woman is cleverly dismissed to a back room.  The television should be at least 32 inches or larger to insure that everyone can see it clearly.  No man wants to gather around an itty bitty television with a bunch of his friends to watch one of the most important football games of the year!  The cable should also be thoroughly checked before the game begins.  Now that all these things are done, the man should cleverly dismiss his woman to the back room so as not to disturb the party and all of the male bonding, but make sure you inform her to answer her phone when you call because you might need her to run a last minute errand.

            In conclusion, if a man follows all of these instructions, he will have a grand Super Bowl party.  When the invitees arrive and see a well cleaned house void of children, plenty of food and drinks, nice size television with immaculate cable service and no woman or women to damper their gathering, they are sure to have an awesome time, and the party will be the talk of a mighty fun and successful gathering!