HUMOROUS HOW-TO’S: What Boyfriends Really Want From You


Ladies, we’ve all been there — hunting for true love, that is. Follow Jacqueline’s advice and you’ll never spend another Saturday night alone with your dog.

HOW-TO GET A BOYFRIEND

If you are tired of being single, of dancing alone, of going to the movie theater by yourself, and of watching TV with no one but your dog on the side, please comply with the following steps. They are easy to follow and, most importantly, they are 100% effective. Don’t pay attention to the fact I am single. I’m sure they will work for you!

First, make sure to throw your make up away. Guys prefer the “natural look.” Don’t worry about the pimples, black heads, or even wrinkles to cover. Guys prefer to look at your imperfections. Who wants a flawless skin? Problematic skin is the trend nowadays! Don’t worry if you don’t have acne. You just have to stop washing your face every day, and I promise you will see results in two weeks!  Red lips are overrated. My advice is to limit the amount of water you drink a day. Your goal is to dehydrate your skin, so that your lips look chapped and whitish. This will make your lips look so kissable like never before. If you want your hair to look amazing, just get rid of your hair straightener or curling iron. Frizzy, bristly hair will make you look sexy. Who wants to take a shower? Not you! Men are attracted to sweaty stinky girls. You should forget about deodorant and perfumes. 

Ladies, pay attention to the latest trends in fashion. You have to look good in order to catch his attention. The way you dress is the way you feel, so if you are looking for a boyfriend you have to be obvious about it. So start wearing t-shirts with logos that express your need for a man. For example: “Looking for a boyfriend,” or “I am single.” This technique never fails. Guys will pile up asking for your number. Skinny jeans are too uncomfortable! You can barely move when wearing skinny jeans, so opt for comfy pants. There is nothing wrong when trying to get the “sport” look. Guys like “sports” right?

The last factor, but not least is attitude. Girls you all have to really follow these steps. If that special guy you are falling for never talks to you, be the first one to start a conversation. Just run up to him next time you see him and introduce yourself. Don’t forget to let him know you are single, and you are looking for a boyfriend, and that you want him to be your significant other. Don’t be shy, show your feelings! If after you introduced yourself he doesn’t ask for your phone number, don’t worry. You can always send him a friend request on Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, etc.  Post on his wall every day at any time so he won’t forget about you. Don’t get discouraged even if he doesn’t “comment” or “like” your post. Keep trying!

If you have followed carefully all of these steps and that jerk hasn’t invited you on a date yet, then that means it’s time to chase somebody else.

 

 

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