HUMOROUS HOW-TOs: Kitchen Remodeling At Low Cost

Looking to remodel your kitchen without shelling out big bucks? Wallpaper and paint chips are highly over-rated. Wait’ll you read what Laurie did with her place!

No-cost (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Kitchen Remodeling at Low Cost

Want to know how to get a beautiful new kitchen at low cost? No, it’s not from Martha Stewart or Pintrist. I came across this idea strictly on accident, but it works. There are just a few things you will need: a pan, some grease, french fries, homeowners insurance and a really good television show. I know this sounds crazy, but it works. If you’re married, even your husband cannot say no.

             Start by pulling a frying pan out from the cabinet or pantry.  It does not have to be a fancy frying pan, it can be any type you have on hand. After that, you will need some cooking oil. It does not matter what brand you use. You will then turn on your stove to make sure the grease gets nice and hot. Please put enough grease in the pan to cook your fries evenly. I know you are wondering, what this has to do with kitchen remodeling. Well, here is where it begins.

            When I cook, I love to watch television. So, turn on your favorite show and wait while the grease gets nice and hot. I just happened to be watching the Atlanta Olympics the night my remodeling began.  It does not matter what show you watch, just make sure it is interesting enough to make you forget about putting grease on a hot stove. After about thirty minutes, you will realize the grease is hot enough because flames will be shooting out of the pan and into the cabinets of your kitchen. Do not panic!

            I know most people would call 911 when they notice a fire, but remember this is about getting a completely remodeled kitchen. First, grab the outside water hose and run into the kitchen to put out the fire. I know! I know! The rule is, do not put water on a grease fire. The problem is, when your mind is on paint swatches and wallpaper patterns you do not think clearly. Now if the water does not put the fire out, throw that ugly kitchen rug on the flames. You will not need that rug anyway because you will be purchasing a new one. After the stove fire is extinguished, run up into the attic and stomp out the rest of the flames. Now that the fire is out and the kitchen is completely gutted, you can sigh with relief that the hard part is over. Remember, the fun is just about to begin. All the ideas you have thought about over the years can become a reality.

            To help you get an idea of how much you can spend, contact your insurance agent. He will have someone come out and give an estimate. Once you get the estimate, contact a reputable contractor. With the contractor doing all the heavy work, you can focus on the pretty colors for the new kitchen. After you have the estimate, go to your local Home Depot to pick out all the things needed for the new kitchen. Now all you have to do is, sit back and watch as your new kitchen comes together. Let me tell you though, this is the hardest part. Just remember, it is so worth it.

            Remember, kitchen remodeling does not have to be a dream; it can actually happen. The only cost to you is, your deductible and maybe higher insurance premiums. But in the end, the enjoyment you will have cooking in your new kitchen is worth it. So, forget about looking up remodeling tips on the internet and follow my guidelines. It worked for me and it can work for you. Have fun remodeling! 


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