Saturday, February 23, 2013
A geyser soaring from the base of the toilet spread into a puddle, a sudsy amoeba sprawling onto the kitchen tile and seeping into the living-room carpet.
All right, Kim. You’re having a nightmare. Just open your eyes.
On Day 2 of WANACon, I woke up pumped and ready. After starting a wash load, I fixed toast, coffee, and orange juice, settled into my recliner, and fired up my laptop.
First up — Jason Chatraw, with “9 Ways To Make eBooks Pop!” After calling the home-warranty company to request a plumber, I focused on the presentation: audio, video, “Easter eggs”, and other bells-and-whistles inspired me to post a question about my own eBook-in-progress: a book that directs my reader to turn it upside down for the second half of the story?”
Meanwhile, the river crested in the kitchen crested. Wading into the bathroom, I yanked down every towel, dishcloth, and wash rag I owned and hurled it to the water-logged tile. .At that point,I still perceived it as only a leak. A simple fix.
“We’re dispatching a plumber, He should be calling you, soon.”
But Jason’s gig ended. No peep out of the plumber.
“No one has answered our dispatch,” Rep number-two said, with a sigh. “If you don’t hear anything, call back in another hour……”.
So, back to the conference. To Lisa Hall-Wilson’s “Facebook: Page or Profile?” Since Facebook is my favorite social network, I absorbed all I could. But I had turned fretful as a tired toddler. .
Aaron Patterson’s “How to Profit Using Amazon” came and went. So did Allison Brennan’s “Villains”, foiled by slick floors and leaky plumbing.
Von would be here soon. He would know what to do. So I texted him as I waited for Candace Havens’ gig to start.
“Give Chem-Dry a call.” he replied. “I’ll cover it. Just plan to hang out with me, this weekend.”
So, I packed a bag with everything I would need for the conference: a toothbrush, change of clothes, and my laptop.
Around 3:00 p.m,stuff started happening. First, Chem-Dry called. Then, the plumber.
At 4:00 p.m, Rodney and Ray from Cornerstone and Jim from Rescue Rooter — turned my house into Grand Central Station..
Jim’s job was easy. Once he located the pipe, he removed “soft blockage” and collected his fee.
But Rodney and Ray’s work was just beginning.
“Ma’am, this spot on the carpet’s the least of your worries,” Rodney said. As I watched, the men detected water in the walls of my living-room, water-heater closet, and kitchen closet. With my guidance, they cleared out each closet, set up seven, monster fans and a dehumidifier.
“See you Monday,” Rodney said, as he and Ray hopped back into their vehicle. “We’ll get someone out here to clean up for you, next week.”
It was already 5:00 p.m: time for Candace Havens. But I’d have to wait for the re-run.
After asking a neighbor to watch Russet, I headed in to Von’s house. Although we’d missed “Revision Hell,” we’d get in on Susan Spann’s double-feature, “Contracts and Copyrights” and “Law For The Lone Wolf”. Thank goodness, the presentations would be recorded.
With my tummy full from Von’s delectable dinner — steak, potatoes, and wine — my attitude was right-side up and my eyes, sleepy. The nightmare was over.
Tomorrow, the dream would return.