HUMOROUS HOW-TO’S, Part 15: “Busted And Proud Of It!”


English: Guy sagging his pants in public.

English: Guy sagging his pants in public. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

09-06-2012

If you’re in high school and bad… I mean, really, really baaaaaaad, then Derrick has a how-to just for you.

HOW TO GET EXPELLED FROM SCHOOL

There many ways to get in trouble at school, you probably know most of them because the teachers are always telling you what not to do. It’s probably easier to try to get in trouble than to try to stay out of trouble. But do you want to know how to get into big trouble? I’m talking about trouble bigger than being sent to the principal’s office or being suspended for a few weeks or days. It is going to take someone with a lot of guts or stupidity. Someone who doesn’t care about getting in trouble with their parents, possibly not getting a high-school diploma, and the embarrassment they might face. Someone who doesn’t mind being sent to jail, or receiving some injuries. If you don’t mind any of the punishments or situations that come with it, then you’re the right person to tell how to get expelled from school.

You need to start your day off bad. Go to school out of dress code. Sagging pants, boxers showing and everything. If a teacher tells you to pull up your pants keep walking like you didn’t hear them. If they actually stops you, listen to them and pull up your pants, but do it with an attitude. You don’t want to get in trouble just yet, you want to get in bigger trouble. Being out of dress code could be warm-up before you do what you really want to do.

When you get to your classroom be real loud slam you backpack on your desk. People might stare and when you see them starring yell “What y’all lookin at?” angrily. When the teacher starts to teach the class act like you fell asleep. Put your head down on the desk and start making loud snoring noises. The teacher might wake you up and give you a warning if she does act like you fell asleep again until she sends you to the principal’s office. When she sends you to the principal’s office act mad and slam the door on your way out even if the door was already opened. After leaving the classroom, run to the principal’s office! Because the teacher might walk out the classroom and try to stop you. If they’re yelling for you run faster. If they’re a former all-state track star and start chasing you, you’ve got a problem, create diversions. Throw stuff in their way like your backpack and desks or chairs that might be in the hallway. If they were hurdle runners then your plans of getting to the principal’s office is probably ruined.

When you’re at your principal’s, the principle will tell you to sit down and tell you to tell them what happened. Tell them calmly how you fell asleep in class and use a lot of curse words while explaining. Then out of nowhere jump out of your seat onto the principal’s desk and start stomping on the desk, then pull down your pants and take a poop on their desk. If you’re principal was an all-state linebacker in high-school, then your outta luck. Be prepared to be thrown across the room and sustaining some injuries. If not run out of the office and start yelling down the hallways kicking teacher’s doors and causing mayhem. Run outside, start stripping, and run around the parking lot naked. You’ll probably cause a crowd and get a lot of attention. Be prepared to be taken down by a police officer or your schools football coach.

Getting expelled from school will take a lot of bravery or lack of common sense. If you are trying to get expelled on purpose think about the consequences. Not many people try to get expelled from school on purpose. I’m not trying to support getting expelled from school. But if you ever wondered how to get expelled from school then this is one way of doing it out of many. Good luck and I hope you don’t end up on jail or get any serious injuries.

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