HUMOROUS HOW-TO’S, Part 11: “Discouraging Date #2”

Our First Date ♥
Our First Date ♥ (Photo credit: Scott Barlow)


Ever want to discourage a first date? Follow Crystal’s advice about nipping date number-one and then share your “first-date-from-hell” story.


A first date is usually the first step for two individuals to become acquainted with one and another. With this engagement, a relationship can blossom or either perishes with the early stages of a dating relationship. If a candidate does not to make it to the second date. she will have to come on an alternate plan to ruin the date entirely. If you want to turn off a guy from wanting a second date, start with attire that he’ll never forget.

The very first impression seems to be the key to everything. Since first appearance is important, wear clothing he’ll never forget. Let’s say, for example, you’re going to the movies for a first encounter. The perfect outfit for this occasion would be blue jeans torn and dirty with  a white t-shirt that has spaghetti stains and garlic bread smudges. The shirt would indicate that you’ve already had dinner and, therefore, no reaon to stop to get something to eat after the movie. Shoes, on the other hand, should be comfortable like slippers. The slippers would indicate that you aren’t in the mood for dancing and an untouched face shows you are comfortable in your own skin. After the wardrobe is complete, it’s now time for the actual first date.

On the ride towards the movies, the first thing to remember is to talk about is the most disturbing moments. The most awkward pleasures for the conversations for a male is about starting your period and how long you were stuck in the bathroom because it started. As his attention is focused on the road and analyzing the comments that you just made, text a close friend to call you within thirty minutes to distract you from the movie. The leeway time given between the phone call would give the opportunity for your companion to gather some snacks. Ask your date for popcorn that will become a necessity during the movie. Use the popcorn as your advantage when he tries to reach for your hand. Subtle, and carelessly reach over to gather popcorn that would reduce the risk of having your hand hold by your acquaintance.

When the movie starts, a phone call would interrupt the theater silence and give a reason to leave for the moment. While the time you are waiting in the hallway telling your friends about the date, your escort will be waiting patiently wondering how long you’ll be gone. But wait, don’t leave too early to enter the movie once again. Wait until he leaves the movie looking for you or texts you asking if you’re even coming back. The more he wants, the more worried he’ll get. And with your return to the movie, the companion would be relieved to not have been stood up on the first date. If he asked about the call, say “It was the lab results for your HIV and STD test” and casually continue to enjoy the movie.

After the premiere, as he is on his way to take you home, do not hesitate to open your own door. He may want to walk with you to the door as any other gentleman would love to do, but do not walk beside him. Once at the door, turn towards him and face him. If he tries to kiss you, slowly move your face and admit that you would, but you haven’t brushed your teeth today and ate sardines for lunch. This would keep him away and possibly make him never come back.

The date with the gentleman will end as a “date from hell”. Although the first meeting did not go as his plan, the free time from not having multiple dates with the same guy can lead to more time to mingle with people you actually like. Ruining a date can open free time for new candidates to have a “pleasant” evening and start a new romance.


2 thoughts on “HUMOROUS HOW-TO’S, Part 11: “Discouraging Date #2”

  1. There’s not enough room here to describe it. Went on a blind double date to a football game in a nearby city, but talk about the scenic route. Felt like I’d been to Mars and back. Then the sum total of our conversation was arguing about anything. We even argued about not arguing. Meanwhile my roommate is falling in love and invites her guy to stay over, but his friend has no transportation, so he stays on our sofa. I leave my room to go to church and he’s out there in the den begging for another date. Said it was the most fun he ever had. Thankfully, my roommates new love was short-lived and I never saw this creep again.

    1. I had a first date who had apparently been given false information. When we doubled with his buddy and one of my college roommates, his hands were everywhere!

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