WHY WOMEN NEED PURSES: Part One — to men with only pockets

Nederlands: voorbeeld van een TWINCASE
Image via Wikipedia

February 7, 2012

Picture it.  Here I am, spending my day off  in the purse departments of Macy’s, Dillard’s, and Nordstrom, searching for that all-time perfect  purse: roomy,  practical,  and  timeless. Sales clerks observing my behavior — picking up, trying on, unzipping and unclipping Fossils, Dooneys, and Coaches — snap to attention.  Rugged canvas, whisper-light microfiber, luxurious ultrasuede, and buttery-soft leather —  I  finger  them all, mopping up the drool I  leave on  the shelves.

At last, with two runners-up —  a  slouchy, forest-green suede backpack on one shoulder and a supple,  burgundy leather messenger  over the other, I  high-tail it up to the register to pay  for the lucky winner with my $10, 000 Visa gift card  when — Poof!  Darn it!–I wake up.

Every time I share the highlights of this  dream-of-dreams with my fiance, Von shakes his head.  He’s a man. So  he  can’t begin to  fathom my lifelong fascination with purses.  A man, he states,  carries  his essentials — wallet and keys only — in his pants pocket.

Oh, but pockets have their limits, I insist.  Then  I proceed to explain to him…and to the rest of you men…why women need purses.

Reason one:  cosmetics. Contact lenses, lip gloss, concealer, liquid base and mineral powder, eyeliner and mascara, that mirrored  compact with three shades of eye shadow  would spill out of a pocket and roll around  in the aisles of  Cabela’s or Home Depot.

Reason two: work. Post-it Notes, Liquid Paper, paper clips, staples and stapler,  sack lunch, and  laptop or iPad.  You see, to us, a  purse is  so much more than a holder of money or keys.  A pocket is just that — a shallow slash in your pants.

Reason three — the most important of them all:  emergencies of all kinds. Water bottles, chocolate bars,  sewing kits, meds,  spare pair of  Spanx, iPhones equipped with  Words With Friends,  Nooks or Kindles   — perfect for waiting out traffic jams and doctor’s appointments.

 Pathetic though it may sound to you,  purses hold the stuff of our  lives.  Emphasis on the word stuff.  Stay tuned for Part Two: features for holding our  stuff to make our perfect purses, well,  perfect-er.


5 thoughts on “WHY WOMEN NEED PURSES: Part One — to men with only pockets

  1. Laugh …. can’t help it. If you ever wanted to add more men to your readership, this is the kind of exposition we need. Some men are advisedly careful of snickering or eye-rolling when a women disappears from view into her purse, emerging moments later as if from an Olympic diving pool. And with that same satisfied grin. Okay, you justified carrying that one thing, along with the myriad never-touched, objects of paranoia. “What if,” is not the mantra of men; we are too busy thinking of nothing;)

    1. We all need something. Mine’s purses and books, both of which threaten to wrestle me to the ground whenever I’m in the stores. That was only Part One. Stay tuned for Part Two!

Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s